There is no quality of life right now

I sit here in the morning with pain throughout my body in my muscles, joints, bones. My head, eyes, ears, upper back, and neck hurting so bad that I just want to go to sleep to forget about it. But then this overwhelming guilt comes over because I have four children who don't understand what is going on and I know they will begin to resent the fact that I can't do anything with them. I want to sit and play boardgames with them but their excitement gets so loud it makes my head hurt worse. I want to go outside and play with them but I can't move fast enough for them and wind up so exhausted that I am spent for at least 2 days. I want to be with them make memories with them.
I want to work to contribute to my family. I want to make my family has a place to live, a phone for doctors to get a hold of me, food to keep up healthy, electricity to keep us cool and allow us to cook. I feel like everytime I get caught up or by some slim chance get a little ahead we are slapped, kicked, punched, and robbed leaving us with nothing having to ask for help.
I am so tired of asking for help. I am tired of having to give up positions I love because my body is attacking itself. I hate being around people because then everyone knows I am not working, not taking care of what needs to be done, I can't say we would love to go when we are invited because of lack of money, lack of energy, or lack of being able to make it through whatever we were invited to do.
I can't clean the house, I have to ask my husband, my niece, my kids, my friends, and my family to do so much for me. I see my Rheumy who also has APS and she seems to have everything together. She has the will to make it through. I want to make a difference like she does, I want to be a positive outlook for those that are suffering like me. But most of all I want to be the wife, mother, aunt, daughter, sister, friend, and prayer warrior I used to be. So how do I make these doctors understand? I wish I could record what a day in my life is like. I wish I could switch bodies with one of the these doctors that think they know so much and let them experience my life first hand.